Thursday, July 15, 2010

My Awesome Research; 9 Deadly Words Used By Women.

Well, I have spent my whole life researching the opposite sex. Seriously, you can't read them. Women are unpredictable. So don't ever try and act like you know everything, if you do, you're just another douche. We just have to know the what they are saying and retreat. You don't wanna get caught in the storm; basically, it's their mood swings. Not that I'm complaining, it's just I don't fancy it much.

Okay, here are 9 deadly words used by women. Take note assholes.

1) Fine.
This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

2) Five Minutes.
If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

3) Nothing.
This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.

4) Go Ahead.
This is a dare, not permission. Don’t Do It!

5) Loud Sigh.
This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to # 3 for the meaning of nothing.)

6) That’s Okay.
This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. That’s okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

7) Thanks.
A woman is thanking you, do not question, or faint. Just say you’re welcome. (I want to add in a clause here – This is true, unless she says ‘Thanks a lot’ – that is PURE sarcasm and she is not thanking you at all. DO NOT say "you’re welcome" that will bring on a "whatever").

8 ) Whatever.
Is a woman’s way of saying FUCK YOU!

9) Don’t worry about it, I got it.
Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself.