Cool?; Yeah,Right

It seems that everybody loves to be associated with the word 'cool'.

Yeap. It seems that way. Everybody wanna be cool though they don't wanna admit it.

Admit it.

Tengok la zaman sekolah, we tend to wanna get around and involve with the popular kids. Or the jocks. Nerds tidak 'cool'. Breaking the rules sangat 'cool'. Skema dan mengikut arahan adalah sangat tidak 'cool'.

Memang mengarut, but that's life tend to be like. Blame the media.

Definisi 'cool' secara subjektif memang lagi meluas. Siapa yang ada blog followers ramai, dia 'cool'. Siapa yang ada ramai tweeples, dia 'cool'. Siapa berlakon filem, dia 'cool'. Siapa bapak kaya, dia 'cool'.

Dah mengarut sangat dah definisi 'cool' ni. Dah subjektif dan variables. You can do anything and if people love it, you're it. You are cool.

Ada yang berusaha cakap tak nak glamor sebab semua tu 'poyo'. Tapi mencari definisi 'cool' dengan berselindung.

Cet. Bagi aku yang 'cool' adalah orang tak berusaha untuk menjadi sedemikian dan ended up sedemikian. That's cool.

Tidak mencuba adalah terbaik, trying too hard and you'll look like a fool. This is a reminder.

p/s: Taknak 'cool' sebab tak dapat pun.

Knock-knock; Hearts Talking

I'm not complaining.

It's just that feelings came from Heart.

You can't hate what you like.

You can't ignore what existed.

You can't act like it's nothing.

You can't love what already hated.

You can't pretend like it was never there.

You can't say wrong what you felt right.

But somehow, heart and mind co-exist.

Heart to feel. Mind to think. When they conflicted, all scattered, confusion arise.

Then decision is like playing Texas Hold 'Em.

Full of uncertainty. A gamble. We put on the poker face. We bet on our hands.

There's a chance to fold, but we tend to get cocky and thought it was right.

Where we hope to win the gamble.

Full of uncertainty. If it's gambling without being sure whether you win or you actually lose, that's the worst kinda decision.

It'll left you with a hollow in the heart, a constant thinking all the time whether i was wrong or right.

See, sounds like nobody wins.

p/s: I am truly bummed.

Change of Heart; Just Wanna Have Fun

I have a friend.

Dia belajar course yang dia suka. Bukan suka suka. Tapi suka hati. Bila dia masuk course tu, dia tak suka, dia tukar course. Dan bila dia tak suka jugak, dia tukar course. Agak tukar cita-cita, dia tukar course. Last time i met him, dah 4 kali dia tukar course. From science to engineer to hospitality to law. Dahsyat.

I asked him why. He told me that his heart changed each time and he wanted to follow his heart. He's 27 now and still now finishing a course of what he studied.

Hmm..

I slowly turning to do what he did. Last time i studied culinary arts, now i wanna further in fashion design. Perhaps after that business.

And the reason i don't further my study for the time being is, i wanna chase my dreams, do something, learn about life. That's it. Basically i wanna have fun. Maybe i'll learn something in the process.

Yup, i'm 23 now, but i feel old. I should focus myself on somethin'..jeez..

p/s: Ada cita-cita jadi businessman, chef, fashion designer, pelakon, penulis, penganalisa sukan..bla,bla,bla..i think i should stop shooting stray bullets

Google; The New Epidemic in My Family

So i texted my mom the other day.

Me: Mama, my skin is allergic to somethin. It's the same like when i was 9 years old.

Mama: What did you touch? what happened?

Me: I dunno. It's itchy, red and it's annoying.

Mama: Go online, Google it.

And i texted her to ask about somethin'.

Me: Mama, the small plant i planted is kinda yellow. It's not green. What's wrong with it?

Mama: Check it out on Google.

And i asked my dad a question.

Me: Ba, I wanna find a new apartment. Do you know anyone?

Dad: Sure, Google it.

And another question.

Me: Ba, i wanna find a girlfriend. What should I do? (this was just a question i asked just to make a conversation, i know how to find a girlfriend. Haha.)

Dad: Google la.

Okayyyy..the pattern here is kinda annoying. My mom and dad kinda get the hang of using Google and the word 'Google' in everyday life. Cute, but I kinda expect more like a traditional answer. Like, an answer that came along with wisdom and knowledges. But, they kinda leave it to Google. Google is rich and very knowledgeable. Haha. Okayyyy~

Will Google everything. Mom, dad; please use less of the internet. It's not for ol' people. Haha!!

p/s: Nothing?

SoHo; Working Alone Though It Is a Great Concept.

Selamat pagi.

Oh. Terbiasa bangun awal.

Seronok membaca blog entri orang lain. It seems like they have something happening in their life.

Sangat bersyukur sebenarnya. Tapi, kalau dah sifat manusia; tamak dan needy, i want something interesting in my life. Yeah, instead of getting up, on my lappy and pc, do my job. If i have an appointment, i'll attend it. If i have to run errands, i'll complete it. And i clean the house, water my plants ( oh, yes, i do gardening. ), cook for the boys. And clean some more. That's it.

Tidak terasa; "wahh! sangat mencabar!!". Tidak langsung.

Maybe i should get a 9-5 job? Yeah. Maybe. At least they got to go out of the house to work. Mine doesn't require leaving the house. Haish~ Kan? Manusia. Tak pernah puas.

Ok. Ok. Sudah puas.

p/s: I work hard, i just made it look easy.

Kerja Tak Siap; Marah Woah!

Oh crap. Days has been crappy for me.

Yes. Yes. Begini ceriteranya.

I went to the bank on Monday, early morning. It was in Bandar Puteri Puchong. And it is Maybank. I went in and i told the pretty-girl-that-do-the-service-thingy? that i wanna open an account. She told me that the whole system was down. And it'll be down for one whole day. Then she told me to go other Maybank which so far away. I can't go 'cause i already applied it online for that Maybank only. So i went home.

Come Tuesday, i went to the same Maybank. Meet the same girl, i told her i wanna open an account. I still have to fill in a form, which is i don't get it. Why would i fill an online form, only to fill it in again at the bank?? I have the stupid reference number. You fellas can't just say, 'Ok, we have your info's already. Please proceed.'?? Dang~what's the purpose of the online system??

Enough annoyance with that, then another lady assist me on how to fill in the form. And then, she suggested a credit card. I said ok, and she needed my current credit card. I said ok, and i wanna pull out my credit card. And I couldn't find it. I was missing. I nearly went berserk. Last time i used it was a week ago. Damn. A week?? and i didn't notice shit. So cannot apply-lah.

So i took a number to proceed with my account opening thingy. Waited for a while and it was my turn. I sat down, gave the form, gave my IC and the lady said, 'Encik, IC tak boleh verify lah..', oh? She kept trying and it can't be used. Meaning, I have to renew my IC. Argghh!! And i can't open the account. Double argghh!!!

I have to go to JPN in Putrajaya?? Arghhh! And i have to wait for my IC to be ready?? Argghhh!!!

' Terima kasih'. Aku chow.

I spent my time doing the stuff i am suppose to do, but i can't finish a thing due to a few stupid circumstances??

Wow..impressive.

Akaun perlu dibuat so duit bole masuk. Tapi sekarang duit tak boleh masuk tapi perlu duit untuk renew IC, dan makan nasik. Plus, kredit kad hilang dan perlu tunggu untuk yang baru. Dan perlu tunggu untuk bukak akaun. Dan perlu tunggu untuk buat kredit kad baru. Dan semuanya tidak boleh segera.

Oh. Lembab sungguh sistem.

p/s: Masih tak siap.

N.A.B.I.L; With This Name, I Think I Live A Double-Life.

I don't think it's a double-life. But more like a secret agent or a spy punya life.

Pernah tengok series 'Burn Notice'? A life of a secret operative basically the story was all about. This spy kena burn which is kena fire. But then he live on doing stuff for everyday people. Helping out here and there and got paid. What impressed me was how he act different role for each of his task; which is so damn cool how he pulled it off.

And iiiiiiiiii...think i live that kinda life. Not the cool part, but the acting part.

Back in Kedah i was called differently. I am totally different back there. Known for being a good kid to my family. It is still the same when i go back. The role was given to me and i played the role well. Still budak baik lagi.

Dekat sekolah, again, i played different role. I'm a nuisance, sangat nakal and malas sangat. What saved me was my grades. It was good enough not to be yelled at.

Dengan kawan-kawan di Kedah, I'm different. Jadi budak baik plus sedikit kenakalan. And i brags alot with 'em, sampai sekarang.( Yeah, it's a habit to brag if you grow up in Kedah. )

Kolej, nama pun jadi Nabil. I was a jock. Everyone kinda knew me. I pulled it off pretty well. Hey, a star role, who wouldn't. Bersukan ok, belajar ok, fellow students kenal, lecturers kenal.

Dan sekarang, living all by myself, with new friends and new faces. I played a new role. Sheesh..I was never the same guy. Here and there, I kinda notice and makes me wonder. Which is me?

The nice kid?

The mischievous student?

The braggin' dick?

The jock?

Or just a guy with identity crisis? ( Identity crisis? I think i'm too old for that. High schooler boleh la indentity crisis. )

Damn.

p/s: Arwah nenek called me ustaz. Now that's another role to play.

Gotcha; I Think I Was Pranked.

Please.

Don't blame me.

Please.

It wasn't suppose to happen, but it did anyway.

I was just there. Then boom. It happened.

Like it was presented to me.

Like the universe asked me, ' What do you think?', with sarcasm on it's face.

And the universe asked again, ' What are you gonna do dimwit?'. Laughing.

It said, ' You asked for it. Next time, quit askin.'

Oh. So it's my fault then?

Damn.

But, Please.

Don't blame me. I'm just a human.

p/s: I'm thankful.*I need to be thankful before i got screwed again*

Annoyed; With My Wimpy Act.

Life is not as exciting lately.

Being single has it perks. But it came with loneliness. Sheesh~go away stupid atmosphere so-called loneliness.

The thing is, when i have to choose a person who has been dearly great to me, i chickened out. It wasn't just one person. It was two of 'em.

And i didn't make any choice. I wanted more time.

But too bad, the one i fell for, don't have that faith, that hope, that i'll be with her.

And again, i fail to tell her that she was important, I fell for her.

She was great.

Now, i think i already lost her.

p/s: Officially missing bam-bam.

Shut Up; so That's What I Should Tell Myself

Shut up Nabil.

Shut up.

Say more and you'll make more mistake.

Say a whole lot more, you'll sound like a dickhead.

Now, shut up. Respect her decision and move on.

Shut up Nabil.

p/s: my mouth is faster than my mind.

Hari-hari Lepas; Agak Sukar Lepaskan.

Ayam Penyet.

Doughnut.

Blueberry Cheese Muffin.

Seaweed flavored Lurve.

Ice Blended Mocha.

Ice Blended Creamed Caramel Latte.

And a little bit of E.

p/s: i'm in overdrive.