A Reminder; To Myself.

Let me explain my life.

I'm happy. I don't complain, i don't cry and i don't regret anything if shits happened. Why?

'Cause i just wanna enjoy this fucking life. Note one thing, life is like a roller coaster with a broken track, you better enjoy the ride before it ends.

My life to me is exciting enough. Although many people doesn't agree with me but it's my life. I say it's exciting. Don't talk back to me. *Smack!*

I love soccer, and don't you dare say anything about what i love.

I have my bunch of friends that love soccer like me. We can sit down and talk about it for hours. We support different team but we don't hate other teams. We just love the game.

Some say that i'm a bit 'poyo'. I don't understand why but living in this country, having big dreams meant that most people will say that you're a fucking dreamer. What's wrong with having big dreams? Well, if you can't and you don't wanna do it, you wanna drag people down with you? That's so fucking wrong. To me, you're a loser. Go away.

I'm 23, i have a long way to go. I don't wanna rush anything, i just wanna take one step at a time. I have experienced defeat, but i'm not going down. I'm just taking my time. Even Rome wasn't built in one day.

I have my own beliefs, and i fight for it. I think everybody should. Looking down at others is not the way. Look up, someone is always better than you.

I may not be the most popular, or the most good looking, or the richest, or the smartest, but i know someday i'll make it big. When that day comes, i couldn't care less about the doubters. You can kiss my sweet butt.

p/s: Pftt!

Why is The Reason; This Is My 'Why'.

every couple fights, it makes you stronger. it sets you apart from the fake couples who are only together for sex. it shows that you’re both in this heart and soul. it shows that you both care about eachother enough to fight for your opinions. it seems bad, and it might feel like you’re drifting, but in the end it’s the fights that keep you together.

Mari Belajar French; It's Useful.

You’re now chatting with a random stranger.Say hi!

You: Hello

Stranger: hi!

You: how are you

Stranger: j t’aime (:

You: you are so cool

Stranger: merci

Stranger: je suis fatigue

You: im sorry i dont understand

Stranger: non?

You: non

Stranger: ouii, tu est englais?

You: err

You: oui?

Stranger: ooooh oui, j’aime la englais?

You: non

Stranger: america ou english?

You: english

Stranger: etudient?

You: what?

You: do you have facebook?

Stranger: non, j n’ai pas facebook

You: what?

You: seriously what?

Stranger: translator?

Stranger: tu comprend?

You: you want me to use a translator?

Stranger: oui?

You: sure

You have disconnected.

If you can describe what you like about a person, then you’re not in love with them. People change, and if what you know you like about them changes, then everything is over.

It Is; It Truly Is.

Twilight; Gotta Love This.

Got Stabbed?; This for you.

You have friends who you believe you can trust but when the day comes they turn round and stab you in the back with everything they have no matter how pathetic it might be. If you have a friend like this, turn around walk away and don’t look back. You’re better that that.

The Reason; Why I'm Not That Popular.

I can't write well about how i feel, or what I see.

Because I don’t really have complications in my life. I see the world differently.

I'm always happy, even if I felt slightly unhappy, I do my best to be happy.

I don't complain much, because I'm grateful.

I don't whine, because I don't know how to whine.

Well, I don't put myself in someone else's shoes, because I don't have to.

I love my own shoes.

That's why I'm less popular.

p/s: I'm loving every second of my life.

“

Gamble everything for love,
if you’re a true human being.

If not, leave
this gathering.

Half-heartedness doesn’t reach
into majesty. You set out
to find God, but then you keep

stopping for long periods
at meanspirited roadhouses.

- Rumi

”

Out of Boredom; Do This.

22 THINGS TO DO IN A ELEVATOR.

1. Crack open your briefcase or handbag, peer Inside and ask “Got enough air in there?”
2. Stand silent and motionless in the corner facing the wall without getting off.
3. When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act as if you’re embarrassed when they open themselves.
4. Greet everyone with a warm handshake and ask him or her to call you Admiral.
5. Meow occasionally.
6. Stare at another passenger for a while. Then announce in horror: “You’re one of THEM” – and back away slowly.
7. Say – ‘DING’ at each floor.
8. Say “I wonder what all these do?” And push all the red buttons.
9. Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
10. Stare, grinning at another passenger for a while, then announce: “I have new socks on.”
11. When the elevator is silent, look around and ask: “Is that your beeper?”
12. Try to make personal calls on the emergency phone.
13. Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers: “This is my personal space.”
14. When there’s only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder, then pretend it wasn’t you.
15. Push the buttons and pretend they give you a shock. Smile, and go back for more.
16. Ask if you can push the button for other people but push the wrong ones.
17. Hold the doors open and say you’re waiting for your friend. After a while, let the doors close and say “Hi Greg, How’s your day been?”
18. Drop a pen and wail until someone reaches to help pick it up, then scream: “That’s mine!”
19. Bring a camera and take pictures of everyone in the elevator.
20. Pretend you’re a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the passengers.
21. Swat at flies that don’t exist,
22. Call a “Group hug” then enforce it.

p/s: Hehe. We all wanna do something right?

My Facebook's Status In 2009; Greatest Hits.

“Waiting hurts. Forgetting hurts. But not knowing which decision to take is the worst of suffering.”

—	Paulo Coelho

“There are moments in your life that, when added together make up the reason you have become who you are. It is every step you have taken to where your feet are planted now that makes up the person you have become. Some people have never moved their feet, some have crawled, some have ran, some have walked, and some have danced. But it doesn’t matter how you get there just as long as you do.”

It Brought Tears to My Eyes; First Time After 20 Years.

A great way to start 2010.

Malaysia won their game in Sea Games Finals. First time after 20 years.

It brought tears to my eyes.

p/s: More updates in Soccer Junkie.

Road Trip; Melaka.

Minggu lepas, hati tiba-tiba rasa untuk memutuskan untuk ke Melaka dengan kawan-kawan. It was all spontaneous. So, I called up my boys. Told 'em the plan. They were up for it. Sebab atas urusan kerja, dan sebab one of my boy, Fuad is working in Melaka. Hari untuk bergembira semakin kurang sebab semua sudah bekerja. That was our only chance to chill out together. Within few hours, we were all already headed to Melaka. It was that easy and I managed to squeeze all of that in one paragraph. Voila.

Bergerak ke Melaka pada Jumaat malam, dan singgah di Cheras, rumah Farid, 'cause he has to run a few errands there. And the rest of us wanna check the fantasy team players and basically do nothing. Apui, Rizal and I were just browsing on YouTube to check out all the funny shits, and just laugh out loud. We did that for 6 hours. Memang tak perasan dah pukul 6 pagi. Apui dan Farid dah terlelap. Pukul 7 pagi baru terlelap.

Ended up woke at 3 p.m and we were suppose to leave for Melaka at 8 a.m..yeah right. Oh, another friend appeared to add more fun, Hafee. He got an afro.

Off to Melaka with 2 cars.

Arrived in Melaka within 2 hours but the trip to Jasin; where Fuad live was quite far away. 45 minutes from Bandar Melaka. Berhenti di Bandar Jasin untuk bermakan-makan kerna masih kelaparan dari malam sebelumnya. Oh, makan besar. Fuad datang sekali untuk bermakan-makan.

After a few plates of great food, lotsa satays, lotsa laughing and stupid conversations, we head to Fuad's place in a oil palm estate deep in Jasin.

6.30 p.m, finally arrived in Fuad's place. Made his place like our own, we just settled down to relax. Oh, he have a karaoke set. Next up, after shower. Bergila-gila karaoke.

Oh, tidak sempat berbaju. Ala, biasalah. Bujang-bujang. Baju tiada erti.

The next day, setelah puas tidur mati. At noon, we decided to go to Sagil; di sempadan Johor, only an hour from Jasin. A recreational area near Gunung Ledang.


Yeap, mengambil gambar kami yang berjaya menyumbat 6 orang dalam sebuah kereta tempatan.


Jauh, memang jauh.

We thought that Sagil is just a place, on the ground. Go there and have fun. We were wrong.

Arrived there and we have to climb up the mountain. Roar! Tidak bersedia untuk hiking gunung. Berpeluh dan berpeluh.

Bila dah mula berjalan, ada la yang malas untuk panjat lagi tinggi. So, kami berpecah. Me and Rizal were the scouts group, where we will climb up and find a perfect spot to lepak-lepak.


Gambar ni dah habis zoom dah. So me and Rizal wanna climb up there and find a perfect spot. Others wanna rest up first. Up and away.


Dah sampai di atas. Sesi bergambar. Haha!


Mereka berempat masih di bawah. Wave your hand people!

Next up, time to chill and have fun! So I'm just gonna let the pics do the talking.







Then we have to walk down again. ("-.-)

Berpeluh-peluh kembali selepas mandi. Huh, sangat tidak bermakna. It was a long way down, so I wanna let the pictures do the talking again.






All and all it was a great day. We spent a small amount of time chillin' at the waterfall, and we spent a lot of time hiking down the mountain. Geez~

p/s: That was just one day. Next day, animal lessons at the Melaka Zoo.

Weird Stuff; Heck This Is Just For Fun.

Dance your ass off kitties!

Because enough is never quite enough.

What's enough?

When Time Gone By; This Is How We Turned Out.

Some people come into our lives and quickly go. Some people move our souls to dance. They awaken us to new understanding with the passing whisper of their wisdom. Some people make the sky more beautiful to gaze upon. They stay in our lives for awhile, leave footprints on our hearts, and we are never ever the same.

True Story; Appreciate It

Once upon a time, there was an island where all the feelings lived: Happiness, Sadness, Knowledge, and all of the others, including Love. One day it was announced to the feelings that the island would sink, so all constructed boats and left. Except for Love.

Love was the only one who stayed. Love wanted to hold out until the last possible moment.

When the island had almost sunk, Love decided to ask for help.

Richness was passing by Love in a grand boat. Love said, “Richness, can you take me with you?”

Richness answered, “No, I can’t. There is a lot of gold and silver in my boat. There is no place here for you.”

Love decided to ask Vanity who was also passing by in a beautiful vessel. “Vanity, please help me!”

“I can’t help you, Love. You are all wet and might damage my boat,” Vanity answered.

Sadness was close by so Love asked, “Sadness, let me go with you.”

“Oh … Love, I am so sad that I need to be by myself!”

Happiness passed by Love, too, but she was so happy that she did not even hear when Love called her.

Suddenly, there was a voice, “Come, Love, I will take you.” It was an elder. So blessed and overjoyed, Love even forgot to ask the elder where they were going. When they arrived at dry land, the elder went her own way. Realizing how much was owed the elder,

Love asked Knowledge, another elder, “Who Helped me?”

“It was Time,” Knowledge answered.

“Time?” asked Love. “But why did Time help me?”

Knowledge smiled with deep wisdom and answered, “Because only Time is capable of understanding how valuable Love is.”

My Imaginary Girlfriend; Err..No Comment.

Meet my imaginary girlfriend, Son Ga In. Search her in Youtube, better of, search 'Abracadabra' by Brown Eyed Girls. Then you'll know why she's my imaginary girlfriend.


p/s: Ugh. I'm a stalker.

It's a strange thing we do. We fall in love knowing that if that person we loved ever left us, it would destroy us completely.

gildedbutterflies

Twisted Mind; Hahaha!

 

fuckin’ classic .

p/s: I'm having fun!

Better To Let You Know; Better Than Never

Which Is Worse?; This Is What I Found Out.

Which is worse? New wounds, which are so horribly painful, or old wounds that should’ve healed years ago, but never did? Maybe our old wounds teach us something. They remind us where we’ve been, and what we’ve overcome. They teach us lessons about what to avoid in the future. That’s what we like to think, but it’s not always the way it is. Some things, we just have to learn over and over and over again. Sometimes, what we fear most has already happened to us.

Gilded Butterflies

p/s: It's wise to think. It's wise to be taught.

Uncertainty; That's The Feeling.

Heart, stop worrying to much.

It is love.

Just give it time. Whether it is right, or wrong, time will tell. Just do what you feel right.

p/s: I'm chasing dream, and I wanted to dream of you.

Pitch Black; Err..Where Are The Man-Killing Aliens?

5 a.m..I woke up and i panic. Cold sweat dripped down from my forehead. Dazed and confused. Why the heck is it pitch black in here?

Ok, first thing we usually do when we woke up, from our sleep is 'the confuse state' or simply 'mamai'. And if you woke up in a pitch black room, then you started to get a lil' confuse and i gotta admit, i was a lil' bit of a wuss. I jumped out of bed and rig the door open. Oh, it was a blackout. The whole neighbourhood. My dad is already sleeping in the living room. Candle was lit around the house already.

Phew~i snapped this picture and went back to sleep.



That's my lil' koala. He was just there. Scared. Like I did.


p/s: I thought a serial killer broke into my house.

Stucked; What The Heck Just Got Stucked?

Why oh why does this song got stucked in my head??




p/s: seriously addicted ke? or just a case of my brain kinda like random unnecessary things to be stucked there?

Silent Night; And Bunch of Dogs

Orang tua-tua cakap kalau anjing menyalak malam-malam ada hantu.

Yeke?

Apahal anjing menyalak pulak pukul 4 pagi ni. And howling it is.

Oh,bantal je ada meneman.

p/s: Hantu? Pfftt!!

Eid Ul Adha; Time for Sacrifices and Redemption

Eid Ul Adha was celebrated in my hometown in Kedah. Tiada aktiviti balik kampung di Kelantan sebab banjir. Dapatlah beramah dengan sahabat-sahabat yang membesar bersama.

Suprisingly, all of them, masih berada dalam lingkungan dan jarak yang dekat untuk dihubungi. Masih ada disekeliling. Satu pun tidak putus. Lucky i have them as friends. If i wanna make a list, it would be a long list.

The morning started with the Eid Ul Adha prayer and preach. Beautiful morning. Everything was just right. Mom cooked great dishes, dad helped a bit and smoke a lot while at it. And i was just there to watch my parents sebab malas and be a delivery boy to send those dishes to the neighbors and friends.

Pergi rumah jiran terhebat dari zaman kecik-kecik dulu, Jan; pronounced Ya.hn. Poyo sangat kalau kena pronounce macam ni.

Ha,bajet stail.Hehe.Tekan loceng dan mendengar jeritan, "Wei,hang cakap kat budak-budak mai raya tu duit raya takdak! Suruh depa pi kot lain!".

Nice. Hahahahahaha. Oh, Jan is one of my childhood friend who once dated Sue; also a part of my childhood community.

Dia ingat budak-budak datang beraya untuk duit raya dan dia tak suka. We ended up borak-borak sekejap(terlupa nak ke rumah Sue) dan makan 3 kali tambah. It was fun, and i was late to go to Fuad's and then Sue's.

Sempat ke rumah Fuad bagi makanan raya, salam mak dia dan borak kejap. Uish, adik ko dah besar semua. Uish, makin comel adik pompuan ko. Dan dia ajak aku blah terus. Cantek. Hehe. Terus ke rumah Sue!

Fuad berkereta baru dan beraya dengan kereta beliau. Mampir ke tengahari di rumah Sue. Dan Yantie turut ada sekali. Memenuhi aktiviti makan sambil membebel. Dan jelas sekali Sue dan Yantie tiada ciri-ciri isteri yang duduk di dapur.(yes,saya tahu mereka membaca)

Korang lagi cantek duduk kat opis atau mana-mana tempat yang tak melibatkan dapur. Tak sesuai haa..hidang air pun fail! Huh! :-)

Raya kann~so terus beraya ke rumah Apui pulakkk~meninggalkan Sue dan Yantie melayan tetamu lain.

So Apui has been the closest friend i had 'til now. And i've been close to his family too. Especially his mom. Tak tahu kenapa but somehow she is cool enough to talk about anything with me. His father is a bit strict but i've known him for a while already. He is an engineer so he and Fuad talked a lot. Aku harammm sepatah tak paham. Yang diingat ialah boiler, valve, urea, magnesium chloride, fire valve, steam cert; dimana ini ialah jargons engineer yang aku tak paham sepatah. I look retarded during the engineers' conversation and i ended up helping Apui's mom in the kitchen. Oh, we had some more food that afternoon.

Fuad, Sue dan Yantie. Adha terbaik dengan kawan-kawan. So i hope to spend more time with all i've grown into.

p/s: Mari bergembira.

Love at First Sight?; It's True!

Why do men believe in love at first sight?

Because it saved them time.

Love; This Is Too Easy

Emotionally Unstable; Gila Kah?

Kalau sesimple kejadian, keadaan; boleh membuatkan kita separa gila, hanya bermakna satu perkara.

Kita emotionally unstable.

So it is. I suffer from that syndrome.

Or is it i'm a Drama King?

p/s: Nothing seems to bother me, but it tend to be that way. It bothers me.

Selesa Sangat; Home Sweet Home

Keadaan tidak sihat masih menghuni badan.

Dah berada di kampung halaman.

1. Pasembor Restoran Thajudeen masih terbaik.
2. Jalan masuk ke taman rumah sendiri masih creepy dengan 3 pokok ara dan pokok kekabu.( favorite langsuir; yang memang selalu ada dengar malam-malam)
3. Tesco dan Giant dah bergaduh kat sini, diorang bukak bisnes sebelah menyebelah. Bodoh.
4. Hotel makin banyak.(Tapak pelancongan ke sini? Ke tapak pelacuran?)
5. Banyak jalan baru.
6. Banyak gadis baru di area rumah. Wow.
7. Dan banyak kawan-kawan menganggur jugak.
8. Malam masih creepy.
9. Oh, aku masih malas nak berjalan sama macam di K.L. Prefer life tepi pantai lah.
10. Katil rumah yang cozy masih cozy.
11. Berebut TV dengan ahli keluarga adalah yang terbaik.
12. Oh, roti canai Taman Ria adalah yang terindah.
13. Tiada tol. Terbaik.
14. Food! Murah ohhh~
15. Selesa bermalas-malas dirumah cuti ini. Heaven~

Tidak dapat pulang ke Kelantan untuk raya sebab banjir. Banjir pon ok what? Bole berenang,memancing,berkayak,scuba diving; and sadly that idea got brutally rejected by my mom. No balik kampung.

p/s: Beraya haji beserta karaoke ohh~

Satisfaction; That's What I'm Looking For

Okey, here's a thing.

People loves seeing me doing the things they want me to do.

For example, my job.

Right now, i'm working on my own time doing what i wanna do. Yeah, what i earn is not much but it is what i like. I'm kinda sick of working with people and all, the atmosphere really suck. It wasn't what i expected. Banyak sangat yang suka menipu, banyak lagi yang suka tikam belakang. Tak best. I don't fancy that kind of confrontation.

But, people sekeliling suka sangat tolong decide what i should do. Wahh. Hebat. They thought that i'm jobless. What?? So how do you think i pay for my rent? food? bills? Sheesh~

They said i should be a lecturer, a chef, a successful financial advisor, graphic designer, or just further my study.

Ughh. And that came from the people i love. That made it hard for me to melawan.

So, i tend to follow everything they said.

Lagi la susah.

p/s: Looking for things i really wanna do.

Demotivated; Ugh, Need to Get Back Up

Ughhh.

A lil' bit demotivated.

Dunno why.

p/s: Looking to yell out loud with my face deep on my pillow.

I Trip to The Dentist; And He Bugged Me

I went to my dentist of 14 years on Friday for my check up.

I told him to stop poking his pointy-sharp-looking-thingy on my teeth. It hurts.

Ended up with he called me a wuss.

Sheesh~

That was embarrassing.

p/s: It hurts! Seriously!

Henry; WTF?

Nice. Nice. Now Thierry Henry is The Most Hated Man in Ireland.

p/s: check out Soccer Junkie for more soccer news.

Comedian; I'm a Comedian?

ME? A comedian?

I know i'm funny but i'm not that hilarious. The story goes like this. On Monday, i answered an ads that said, " Opportunity to become a stand-up comedian ". The person who posted that ad agree to meet at cafe and he told me to prepare 3 short jokes to present to him.

So I met him. It was Mr. Deven, one of the Raja Lawak contestant. And i go 'ooohhhhhhh'..( 'cause i never watch Raja Lawak', only the sports channel. )

He explained that he wanted to be a mentor to a soon-to-be-comedian. He asked whether i wanna be a stand-up comic or not. I said wanted to. He offered himself to train me. He asked me to present my jokes.

I did. And it wasn't funny enough for him. Ouch! And i told him a joke that happened earlier that day. He laughed. So, he wanted me to use that joke. Oh, jokes that i wrote was kinda not funny eh? And what i didn't write was funny? Haish~ this is gonna be challenging.

And one more thing. He'll train me to be on Raja Lawak within a year. WTH??

Eventhough i went 'WTH'..i agreed. Owww~so i'm a trained comedian after this huh?

p/s: Better be good. Better be good.

Weekenders; Berasap Sampai Kembung

Oh, tiada yang haram terlibat di meja ini. Harap para ibunda tidak salah faham. Anakanda amat skema sekali. Ecewah.

Weekends terlalu meletihkan.

2 hours of sleep and 46 hours of hangin' out with the friends. All at the same place; Al-

Andalus. Of course with Azree, Brada and Ejan. We've been living together for 2 years now, and having so much fun doing nothing. This is my kinda life.

Fuhhhhhhhhhhh~*blowing smoke*..feeling shisha macam pot.

Saturday

First, we went karaoke in Bukit Bintang, and afterwards, shisha~and playin' poker. With the additional of 3 girls we met there, An, Mek and Syue~melayankan permainan kad dan teka-teki..thanks for the company. We had a blast.

Pulang jam 5.30 pagi. Sampai terus sambung di mamak kesayangan pulak. Roti canai garing dan teh tarik yang heaven.

Pulang tidak tidur dan terus melayan Ahad. Sangat layan~(*.*)

Just a 2 hours nap. Thank God it was sufficient.

Sunday

Sunday night was thoroughly spent with the rugby crowd; Amie, Emi, Cint and Shasha. Still the same thing, shisha sampai pagi~Fuhhhhhhhhh~*blowing smoke*..perut kembung asap ohh..

We played poker like in the casino, smoked shisha like it was marijuana, drank Barbican like it was supposed to make us drunk, and we had fun laughing like we were high.

We left at 5 a.m and sambung di 222 untuk breakfast nasi lemak terbaik, Nasi Lemak Suri.

After feeling quite heavy on the head, went back to get the sufficient sleep we are suppose to get.

Fuhhhhhhhh~*blowing smoke*..harap dapat lepak-lepak begini dengan semua lagi..

p/s: Ugh. Missing my peeps.

2012; Misunderstood

So I thought the movie 2012 was gonna be in theater in 2012. And i think i was relevant to think that.

It is actually showing in 2010? Pfttt!!

p/s: Yeah, yeah. Whatever.

Annoyed; You're Dumb.

You are in the movie. Enjoying it. And then you started to get annoyed. 'Cause your fellow audience that sat a seat or two chair away from you started asking stupid question about the movie, to her boyfriend, out loud. Wow, how annoying. And a brilliant way to annoy other people too.

Dude, don't watch any movie with your girlfriend.

She might end up getting boo-ed. Sheesh~

p/s: Pisau Cukur is great!

Sad,sad,sad; Dwell Upon A Lost

OH? WHAT? ME?

No, nothing. Everything's alright.

Just dwelling on Manchester United's lost.

Boohooo~

p/s: I should get a life. Arrr!

Envy; Perangai Syaitan Woah

Oh. Sangat envy melihat relationship orang lain.

Sangat-sangat.

loneliness rules!

p/s: Looking to be a pirate. So, wanna be my crew? anyone?

Cool?; Yeah,Right

It seems that everybody loves to be associated with the word 'cool'.

Yeap. It seems that way. Everybody wanna be cool though they don't wanna admit it.

Admit it.

Tengok la zaman sekolah, we tend to wanna get around and involve with the popular kids. Or the jocks. Nerds tidak 'cool'. Breaking the rules sangat 'cool'. Skema dan mengikut arahan adalah sangat tidak 'cool'.

Memang mengarut, but that's life tend to be like. Blame the media.

Definisi 'cool' secara subjektif memang lagi meluas. Siapa yang ada blog followers ramai, dia 'cool'. Siapa yang ada ramai tweeples, dia 'cool'. Siapa berlakon filem, dia 'cool'. Siapa bapak kaya, dia 'cool'.

Dah mengarut sangat dah definisi 'cool' ni. Dah subjektif dan variables. You can do anything and if people love it, you're it. You are cool.

Ada yang berusaha cakap tak nak glamor sebab semua tu 'poyo'. Tapi mencari definisi 'cool' dengan berselindung.

Cet. Bagi aku yang 'cool' adalah orang tak berusaha untuk menjadi sedemikian dan ended up sedemikian. That's cool.

Tidak mencuba adalah terbaik, trying too hard and you'll look like a fool. This is a reminder.

p/s: Taknak 'cool' sebab tak dapat pun.

Knock-knock; Hearts Talking

I'm not complaining.

It's just that feelings came from Heart.

You can't hate what you like.

You can't ignore what existed.

You can't act like it's nothing.

You can't love what already hated.

You can't pretend like it was never there.

You can't say wrong what you felt right.

But somehow, heart and mind co-exist.

Heart to feel. Mind to think. When they conflicted, all scattered, confusion arise.

Then decision is like playing Texas Hold 'Em.

Full of uncertainty. A gamble. We put on the poker face. We bet on our hands.

There's a chance to fold, but we tend to get cocky and thought it was right.

Where we hope to win the gamble.

Full of uncertainty. If it's gambling without being sure whether you win or you actually lose, that's the worst kinda decision.

It'll left you with a hollow in the heart, a constant thinking all the time whether i was wrong or right.

See, sounds like nobody wins.

p/s: I am truly bummed.

Change of Heart; Just Wanna Have Fun

I have a friend.

Dia belajar course yang dia suka. Bukan suka suka. Tapi suka hati. Bila dia masuk course tu, dia tak suka, dia tukar course. Dan bila dia tak suka jugak, dia tukar course. Agak tukar cita-cita, dia tukar course. Last time i met him, dah 4 kali dia tukar course. From science to engineer to hospitality to law. Dahsyat.

I asked him why. He told me that his heart changed each time and he wanted to follow his heart. He's 27 now and still now finishing a course of what he studied.

Hmm..

I slowly turning to do what he did. Last time i studied culinary arts, now i wanna further in fashion design. Perhaps after that business.

And the reason i don't further my study for the time being is, i wanna chase my dreams, do something, learn about life. That's it. Basically i wanna have fun. Maybe i'll learn something in the process.

Yup, i'm 23 now, but i feel old. I should focus myself on somethin'..jeez..

p/s: Ada cita-cita jadi businessman, chef, fashion designer, pelakon, penulis, penganalisa sukan..bla,bla,bla..i think i should stop shooting stray bullets

Google; The New Epidemic in My Family

So i texted my mom the other day.

Me: Mama, my skin is allergic to somethin. It's the same like when i was 9 years old.

Mama: What did you touch? what happened?

Me: I dunno. It's itchy, red and it's annoying.

Mama: Go online, Google it.

And i texted her to ask about somethin'.

Me: Mama, the small plant i planted is kinda yellow. It's not green. What's wrong with it?

Mama: Check it out on Google.

And i asked my dad a question.

Me: Ba, I wanna find a new apartment. Do you know anyone?

Dad: Sure, Google it.

And another question.

Me: Ba, i wanna find a girlfriend. What should I do? (this was just a question i asked just to make a conversation, i know how to find a girlfriend. Haha.)

Dad: Google la.

Okayyyy..the pattern here is kinda annoying. My mom and dad kinda get the hang of using Google and the word 'Google' in everyday life. Cute, but I kinda expect more like a traditional answer. Like, an answer that came along with wisdom and knowledges. But, they kinda leave it to Google. Google is rich and very knowledgeable. Haha. Okayyyy~

Will Google everything. Mom, dad; please use less of the internet. It's not for ol' people. Haha!!

p/s: Nothing?

SoHo; Working Alone Though It Is a Great Concept.

Selamat pagi.

Oh. Terbiasa bangun awal.

Seronok membaca blog entri orang lain. It seems like they have something happening in their life.

Sangat bersyukur sebenarnya. Tapi, kalau dah sifat manusia; tamak dan needy, i want something interesting in my life. Yeah, instead of getting up, on my lappy and pc, do my job. If i have an appointment, i'll attend it. If i have to run errands, i'll complete it. And i clean the house, water my plants ( oh, yes, i do gardening. ), cook for the boys. And clean some more. That's it.

Tidak terasa; "wahh! sangat mencabar!!". Tidak langsung.

Maybe i should get a 9-5 job? Yeah. Maybe. At least they got to go out of the house to work. Mine doesn't require leaving the house. Haish~ Kan? Manusia. Tak pernah puas.

Ok. Ok. Sudah puas.

p/s: I work hard, i just made it look easy.

Kerja Tak Siap; Marah Woah!

Oh crap. Days has been crappy for me.

Yes. Yes. Begini ceriteranya.

I went to the bank on Monday, early morning. It was in Bandar Puteri Puchong. And it is Maybank. I went in and i told the pretty-girl-that-do-the-service-thingy? that i wanna open an account. She told me that the whole system was down. And it'll be down for one whole day. Then she told me to go other Maybank which so far away. I can't go 'cause i already applied it online for that Maybank only. So i went home.

Come Tuesday, i went to the same Maybank. Meet the same girl, i told her i wanna open an account. I still have to fill in a form, which is i don't get it. Why would i fill an online form, only to fill it in again at the bank?? I have the stupid reference number. You fellas can't just say, 'Ok, we have your info's already. Please proceed.'?? Dang~what's the purpose of the online system??

Enough annoyance with that, then another lady assist me on how to fill in the form. And then, she suggested a credit card. I said ok, and she needed my current credit card. I said ok, and i wanna pull out my credit card. And I couldn't find it. I was missing. I nearly went berserk. Last time i used it was a week ago. Damn. A week?? and i didn't notice shit. So cannot apply-lah.

So i took a number to proceed with my account opening thingy. Waited for a while and it was my turn. I sat down, gave the form, gave my IC and the lady said, 'Encik, IC tak boleh verify lah..', oh? She kept trying and it can't be used. Meaning, I have to renew my IC. Argghh!! And i can't open the account. Double argghh!!!

I have to go to JPN in Putrajaya?? Arghhh! And i have to wait for my IC to be ready?? Argghhh!!!

' Terima kasih'. Aku chow.

I spent my time doing the stuff i am suppose to do, but i can't finish a thing due to a few stupid circumstances??

Wow..impressive.

Akaun perlu dibuat so duit bole masuk. Tapi sekarang duit tak boleh masuk tapi perlu duit untuk renew IC, dan makan nasik. Plus, kredit kad hilang dan perlu tunggu untuk yang baru. Dan perlu tunggu untuk bukak akaun. Dan perlu tunggu untuk buat kredit kad baru. Dan semuanya tidak boleh segera.

Oh. Lembab sungguh sistem.

p/s: Masih tak siap.

N.A.B.I.L; With This Name, I Think I Live A Double-Life.

I don't think it's a double-life. But more like a secret agent or a spy punya life.

Pernah tengok series 'Burn Notice'? A life of a secret operative basically the story was all about. This spy kena burn which is kena fire. But then he live on doing stuff for everyday people. Helping out here and there and got paid. What impressed me was how he act different role for each of his task; which is so damn cool how he pulled it off.

And iiiiiiiiii...think i live that kinda life. Not the cool part, but the acting part.

Back in Kedah i was called differently. I am totally different back there. Known for being a good kid to my family. It is still the same when i go back. The role was given to me and i played the role well. Still budak baik lagi.

Dekat sekolah, again, i played different role. I'm a nuisance, sangat nakal and malas sangat. What saved me was my grades. It was good enough not to be yelled at.

Dengan kawan-kawan di Kedah, I'm different. Jadi budak baik plus sedikit kenakalan. And i brags alot with 'em, sampai sekarang.( Yeah, it's a habit to brag if you grow up in Kedah. )

Kolej, nama pun jadi Nabil. I was a jock. Everyone kinda knew me. I pulled it off pretty well. Hey, a star role, who wouldn't. Bersukan ok, belajar ok, fellow students kenal, lecturers kenal.

Dan sekarang, living all by myself, with new friends and new faces. I played a new role. Sheesh..I was never the same guy. Here and there, I kinda notice and makes me wonder. Which is me?

The nice kid?

The mischievous student?

The braggin' dick?

The jock?

Or just a guy with identity crisis? ( Identity crisis? I think i'm too old for that. High schooler boleh la indentity crisis. )

Damn.

p/s: Arwah nenek called me ustaz. Now that's another role to play.

Gotcha; I Think I Was Pranked.

Please.

Don't blame me.

Please.

It wasn't suppose to happen, but it did anyway.

I was just there. Then boom. It happened.

Like it was presented to me.

Like the universe asked me, ' What do you think?', with sarcasm on it's face.

And the universe asked again, ' What are you gonna do dimwit?'. Laughing.

It said, ' You asked for it. Next time, quit askin.'

Oh. So it's my fault then?

Damn.

But, Please.

Don't blame me. I'm just a human.

p/s: I'm thankful.*I need to be thankful before i got screwed again*

Annoyed; With My Wimpy Act.

Life is not as exciting lately.

Being single has it perks. But it came with loneliness. Sheesh~go away stupid atmosphere so-called loneliness.

The thing is, when i have to choose a person who has been dearly great to me, i chickened out. It wasn't just one person. It was two of 'em.

And i didn't make any choice. I wanted more time.

But too bad, the one i fell for, don't have that faith, that hope, that i'll be with her.

And again, i fail to tell her that she was important, I fell for her.

She was great.

Now, i think i already lost her.

p/s: Officially missing bam-bam.

Shut Up; so That's What I Should Tell Myself

Shut up Nabil.

Shut up.

Say more and you'll make more mistake.

Say a whole lot more, you'll sound like a dickhead.

Now, shut up. Respect her decision and move on.

Shut up Nabil.

p/s: my mouth is faster than my mind.

Hari-hari Lepas; Agak Sukar Lepaskan.

Ayam Penyet.

Doughnut.

Blueberry Cheese Muffin.

Seaweed flavored Lurve.

Ice Blended Mocha.

Ice Blended Creamed Caramel Latte.

And a little bit of E.

p/s: i'm in overdrive.

Hati; Ini Ceritanya.

Berkenaan hati.

Hati aku cakap, tiada apa pun betul.

'Kebenaran' hanya datang dari Tuhan, Nabi.

Hati aku cakap, persetankan orang yang menipu bercakap benar.

Sebab semua tu belum tentu betul.

Hati aku cakap, lupakan naluri sangkaan kau.

Sebab naluri bermain antara dua; salah dan banyak salah.

Hati aku cakap, perasaan yang ada hanyalah nafsu.

Nafsu tiada asasnya. Cinta bukan nafsu. Semua disalah erti.

Hati aku cakap, lupakan apa yang kamu mahu, yang kamu perlu.

Dua-dua tidak menjamin apa-apa. Kejar apa yang dijamin sahaja.

Oh.

Berlaku pertelingkahan antara akal dan hati.

Hati lebih kepada nafsu.

Akal lebih kepada logik dan spiritual.

Yang mana perlu diikut?

Masih sama. Dua-dua akan dikut.

Sebab manusia tetap manusia. Bukan malaikat. Bukan wali. Tetap tidak sempurna.

Terima.

p/s: nukilan sakit gigi.

IMS; Trust Me, Lagi Teruk.

Oh.

Gangguan emosi.

Plus, sakit gigi.

Warna kulit bertukar hijau.

Sakit. Sakit. Sakit.

p/s: Bam-bam..save me..

Raya's Food; Irresistable

Makanan hari ini.

Jeruk Pelam

Ketupat

Rendang Ayam

Lontong

Spagetti

Nasi Tomato

Lemang dan Rendang Daging

Pasembor

Mee Rebus Penang.

Tambahan berat; full 5kg.

Niceeee~

p/s: let's jog!!

Duit Raya RM 0.00; Maknanya Aku Dah Dewasa. Oh, Realiti.

Berhari raya di kampung sangat seronok.

Sekarang dah berada di Kedah. Sememangnya lebih seronok. Seeing faces you used to see, it really brought back memories. I can't believe it that these are the people whose been around for so long, and i tend to keep 'em here with me. I don't take 'em for granted.

Sempat beraya di rumah my fellow former classmates; Rizal, Apui, Fuad, Farid. We had so much fun. Ketawa, ketawa dan lebih banyak ketawa. Serius, tak ada yang kurang. Balik kepada aktiviti lama, cuba untuk hidupkan kembali zaman sekolah dulu, kami habiskan 5 jam di internet cafe bermain Counter Strike; which dah tak ada orang main dah sekarang. But, it was fun. Couldn't get any better.

Oh, sempat juga ber-futsal.

Helping my mum with the gardening.

Rearranging the kitchen.

And meeting with all the peeps from the ol' Ibrahim School. Juga kawan-kawan dari sekolah rendah. ( 3 orang kawan aku jadi Al-Hafiz. Err..unexpected. )

Dan satu tempat utama yang boleh jumpa semua kawan-kawan sekolah is Oldtown. Basically, everybody will go there and you'll see all the faces from the past.

Ada yang dah kurus, dah gemuk, makin cantik, kurang cantik, dah bekerja, masih belajar, dah kahwin, akan berkahwin; semua akan berjumpa disana. Kawan atau lawan, memang jumpa kat sana.

Wow, can't believe that i'm still here..:)

Dear, Sue, Sarah and Yantie. Gotta admit. Love talking to you girls. Just remember, what I shared is true. Life's uncertain. Rather than contemplating on the bad stuff and the negative stuff, just live. What i mean is, expect good things. No matter how harsh life is. Just expect good things. Great things.

Note this, Tuhan akan menjadikan buruk jika kamu fikirkan buruk. Tuhan menjadikan baik jika kamu fikirkan baik. ( Sue, perli aku ustaz lagi aku tampar. Hehe. )

Oh, sangat menantikan hari yang akan datang bersama semua lagi.

p/s: Still, satu rumah lagi tak raya. Hmm..i wonder who.

Ramadhan to Syawal; Transition Complete

_____________________________________________________________________________________

I

Ohh..the road trip was great. I fell asleep driving but manage to reach home, sweettttt home safely. With my lil' sister.



We were listening to raya songs the whole trip. Put on some rock kapak and some annoying new song, we sang like touring a concert. Sheesh~haha!

And the highway was crazy. Three accidents in front of me, and traffic jam all the way to Ipoh. Dang~people..learn how to drive properly. Don't fall asleep.

I drove like i'm in the Dakar Rally 'cause mama said she wanted to sahur with us. Safely home in time for sahur.

After Subuh, snoooooozeeeeee...

Just to be back where i belong, made me happy. Kedahhhhhhh!! Love this placeee!!

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II

Woke up just before Friday prayer. Did what i have to do. And..dang. A trip to my dentist.

Dammit. Sangat tak suka dentist. Dunno why. Mereka kelihatan sangat jahat. But i've been too the same dentist since i was 9 years old.

As i was 9 years old, my mum will always be with me in the doc's room.

Alaa..Dr. Raaj pun dah paham sangat. Dia tak nak aku mengamuk. Aku pernah sepak terajang dia dan para pembantu dia dulu, masa kecik. Dia tahu aku Incredible Hulk, don't provoke me.

Haha!( ok, aku takut dentist. huh. )

Luckily, nothing's serious. I hurt my gum. It was swollen badly.

And, a piece of advice. DON'T pick your teeth with a screwdriver; like i did. I lost half of my gum in the process, and a swollen gum. Sheesh~

A great way to end Ramadhan in Kedah. We got together to break fast. Ramadhan was heavenly great.
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III

Balik kampung!!

Kitorang sefamili balik Johor. My dad's kampung. So, akan banyak melawat saudara-mara. Ada 9 keluarga dari my dad's side. All are Johorians. I'm part Johorian. Yes! Good enough reason to eat all the great food in kampung.

The trip was tiring. Still recovering from yesterday's trip. Yet, i have to travel back to Johor. Dang.

Sepanjang jalan hujan. And we bukak puasa di highway saja. Mi mama bawak bekal. Rendang daging and ayam masak merah. Oh, sangat sedap. Plus, juga ada laksa Johor. Oh yes. Real gourmet. Mom's cook. Sangattttt sedappppp okkkk...

After bukak puasa, my dad drive pulak.

Snoooozeeeeeeeee....oh? dah sampai? 1.30 a.m..raya's eve. Sampai di Batu Pahat. My uncle's house. Letih sangat. Aku terus ke dapur. Oh, beriani kambing, rendang daging, lontong dan ayam merah kampung dah siap. Terus melantak. Dan sambil tu dengar orang-orang tua berborak. Layankan ajee..

But then, my uncle which kitorang panggil Pak Itam pun mencadangkan untuk pegi shopping di BP Walk,(ye,ala2 Star Walk gitu) for last minute shopping. Pak Itam brought us there and hell yeah, everything was so cheapppp!!!! Shop, shop and shoppp!

Went back at 3.30 a.m..dang..tired...snoooozzzeeeeeeeee..
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IV

Bukak mata. 7.30 a.m.

DAMMIT!

Dah lambat! Dah lambat! Sembahyang raya! Henjut kaki bapak aku, jerit-jerit. Buat kalut. Terus masuk shower.

Cebur!Cebur!Cebur!Kecebur!

Wahhh..mandi sunat Aidilfitri sangat ekspress.( Mandi itu lengkap dengan semua yang mewangikan badan..)

Keluarkan baju raya. WAHHHHHH!!! Sangat oren ye! Huhu!

My dad and I sempat sampai awal di masjid. Bertakbir. Bertahmid. Oh, syahdu sangat. Baju aku paling oren di masjid. Pergi kubur arwah nenek selepas sembahyang. Bersihkan kubur. Doa. Sedekahkan Al-Fatihah.

Went back afterwards for more ketupat, rendang, beriani kambing, ayam merah and lontong. I mixed everything together. Sebab senang kot.


Next trip~!! Rumah Uncle A.Halim dan Aunty Tim. Yeeha!! Again. Food! And the cousins!! Lil' kiddies! Seronok bergurau dengan diorang. Oh, rumah Uncle Halim ada kebun dan banyak bela kambing dan ayam. Aku pun pergi nak tengok ayam-ayam kampung dia. (konon nak belajar bela ayam )

Dekat reban ayam-ayam, aku nampak ular tedung selar. Besar mampus. Dengan cool aku jalan ke rumah panggil pakcik aku tu. Die tertidur atas sofa time tu, so aku kejut die slow-slow.

" Uncle, ada ular tedung nak masuk reban ayam."(cool gila nih..)

Orang tua tu bukak mata.

" Hah?? Ular?? Kat mane??", terus dia jerit. Aku cakap la dekat reban ayam. Terus aku kena bebel.

" Ular tu da lari ke belum?? Ada kat mana? Apasal tak jerit?? Apasal tak tangkap ular tu?? Ular i tak bole biar! Nanti di makan semua ayam-ayam uncle!!".

( orang tua bebel.aku dengar je )

Terus dia angkat parang panjang. Bapak aku bawak kayu. Aku jadi saksi. Tudia.

Ular tedung bapak besarrrrr!! Ada lagi pulak tuh. Ular tu tak lari. Cantik. Terus pakcik aku angkat parang, zasssss!!! Alahai.

Tak kena. Ular tu lari. Alahai. Kalau kena tu. Dapat kenangan raya terbaik.

Selepas tu aku kena bebel. Perihal tak jerit masa aku nampak ular tu. Perihal aku tak bunuh ular tuh. Habis keluar segala cerita tentang ruminan pakcik aku.

Dalam kena marah tu, aku boleh bagi jawapan bodoh je.

" Uncle, takkan kita nak jerit. Pondan sangat haa..cool sudah. Takkan kita nak on video, pastu cakap slang Australia tangkap ular tu. I don't wanna die todaiiyy mate!!"

Hehe. Pastu dengar lah kisah orang-orang tua. Layankan aje. Banyaknya aku kena bebel. Alahai.

Selepas azan Zohor. Terus gerak ke Johor Bahru. Ke rumah Aunty Nana and Uncle Ghafar. Oh, gonna spend the night kat sana. Relaxing and a lot of makan-makan. Oh, jahat sungguh nafsu makan saya. Tak boleh berhenti makan.

Saya rasa saya faveret semua pakcik dan makcik saya. Sebab diorang semua melayan apa yang aku borakkan. Cewah.

Habiskan waktu petang berehat, berbaring dan melayan t.v..boleh lahh..kenyang sangat lah.


Suka tengok orang tua-tua berborak.

Lepas Maghrib, tunggu bola. Manchester derby. Wah. Layan bola masa raya sangat best!

A great game indeed.

Phew. I'm all full. Looking forward for the rest of Syawal. I'm having fun. Tak dapat duit raya sebab dah bekerja. Dammit. Hehe.


p/s: I miss my bam-bam.